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A MilesVisions Mini-Play"The Late Night Visitor" |
CAST: |
Albert:
An Older Gay Man |
John:
A Younger Gay Man with an Irish Accent |
TIME
AND PLACE: The present, in a San Francisco apartment. |
Albert: (To Audience) It was well past midnight when he came to visit. I had just got to sleep when I heard him knocking on the door, banging away so that I couldn't ignore him -- try though I might. He was wearing his old green housecoat that had seen much better days. (doorbell rings) (Turns, speaks to John) I don't know why you bother to keep that ugly thing, let alone wear it out in public. You must have looked a sight coming into the apartment building. |
| John: Nobody's to notice after midnight, besides it's San Francisco and nobody but you'd care. The point is I've come all this way for a visit and you go nattering about my shoddy clothes. Besides, I can't stay long and you haven't even invited me in. |
| Albert: So you're here, come in. |
| John: That's more like it, ain't it? Nice to have a friend in the world. Lonely like otherwise. I've been thinking. |
| Albert: Again? |
| John: Well, still is more like it. I can't seem to stop thinking about what you said about the birds and the bees. I don't see how the bees get hooked up with the birds or is the other way round. But then I don't see how that would work either. You know what I mean? |
| Albert: It's just a story. Nothing to lose sleep over, most certainly not my sleep. Now, John, take off that ugly green thing and let me get you a clean robe. Here, put this on. |
| John: Oh, that's nice, it is. That's first class. I like this. Royal blue wouldn't you say? Royal for sure. I feel like a king, I do. Feel that, would you. Soft as a kitten's furry behind. Makes me want to purr, it does. I feel like I could curl up in that corner over there and just purr away. |
| Albert: John, you have a home of your own, nice and warm and cozy. You can keep the robe. Now, why did you feel it was necessary to wake me up in the middle of the night? |
| John: T'was the birds and the bees thing. I've been trying to figure it out all day. Last night you said it was okay, what we did. Just like the birds and the bees. But I can't see how the birds and bees can do what we did last night and if they did it'd be something we all ought to be worried about. I mean, nice enough for the likes of us, you and me and all, but those poor little creatures, what's going to happen to them I'd like to know. |
| Albert: John, it's just a story. |
| John: Well, I don't get the story. So tell me again, what's the story of the birds and the bees. |
| Albert: Forget it John. |
| John: Forget it? I can't forget nothing like that. In fact, I've been wondering around town all day. I've asked maybe a hundred people. They all just laugh and say, everybody does it, the birds and the bees do it. Some guy went in a song and dance routine. I swear to god, right on Market Street. He was jumping up and down singing about the birds and bees doing it, everybody doing it, doing it. Then he said "let's fall in love." |
| Albert: John, lad, it's just a way of talking about love. |
| John: Oh, that's it, is it. We're talking about love are we? Well what we did last night you said wasn't love, lovely though it was, wasn't it. You said it was just some playing around, just a bit of fun, you said. |
| Albert: Johnny, it's after midnight. I just have to get some sleep. I'm exhausted. I can't think. Go home and give me a call tomorrow. |
| John: Can't. Can't wait until tomorrow. You said, if I have any questions about what we did last night, just talk it over. Well, I'm here to talk it over. |
| Albert: Johnny, you're a beautiful lad, a gorgeous lad, a fine lad, a sweet lad, all the lad a fella could want, but I'm exhausted. Give me a call in the morning and we'll talk about it. I'll tell you all about the birds and the bees. |
| John: I don't want any more birds and bees. I want you. I want to fall in love. I've been thinking about it all day. Don't go laying it on those poor animals, making them do all kinds of acrobatics. No, just you and me. I mean, we can do it, but that doesn't mean we have to make the poor birds and bees do it. |
| Albert: Johnny, my friend, jump in bed. Leave that green thing in the basket, you can take the blue robe home in the morning. |
| John: Oh, my what a thought. You and me. We'll take care of it. We'll do it so the little bees don't sting those yakety birds. You and me, we'll take care of everything. Sleep like all god's creatures, you and me. That's why I came over. To tell you it's all about love, it is. Not about those poor creatures, just you and me, it is. Isn't that what you said when we left the bar last night? Just you and me and the whole wide world. |
| Albert: What I said? |
| John: What you said. "Come to me Johnny boy and we'll travel the whole wide world in a single night." Well, I think it's going to take more than one night to travel the whole wide world, I do. Scoot over. I feel like falling in love. |
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